Expectations based on assumptions can lead to your biggest downfalls.
I wrote this post over a year ago and never posted for a few reasons; I’m not even sure what my aim was writing it. I wasn’t sure if I was alone in these thoughts or whether I was ready to release them onto the world, but a friend gave me some kind words and urged me to post it.
Expectations based on assumptions can lead to your biggest downfalls. Sometimes when things are left unsaid or unanswered we assume our own versions of reality and expect outcomes which are unrealistic and which deviate from the course nature’s taking. Recently I’ve found that to take this path and alter your own perception of what is real can be extremely demoralising, mentally exhausting and leaves you with a weird sense of confusion when you snap back to reality. But what are you to do when your inner self can build up such an illusion over such a short space of time, when the voice inside your head remains so clear and omniscient?
If there’s one thing that my latest endeavour has taught me, for all of my failures, all of my un-reached expectations, all of my tasks and goals I haven’t achieved, it’s that I am the single element holding myself back. In almost every situation I can recall, I could have altered the outcome for the better by acting in a different way. I think back to certain scenarios to try and understand why I did or didn’t do certain things or I try and understand how I’ve ended up at the conclusion of a certain event, it always come down to the fact that I either listened to myself, or I lost an argument with myself and talked myself out of doing something. I lost an argument with myself and talked myself out of doing something. Let that sink in for a second. Even as I wrote that line, I thought, how does that make sense? I understand the concept of debating options with yourself internally or verbally, but why do I always choose the wrong option and why is it a persistent battle in my head? Is there more than one voice I’m debating with, they all sound the same!
Maybe this new found understanding, that I am the only restriction to my own happiness and success, is the first step of acceptance and progression and I can start to finally move forward and work around this? Or maybe this new found understanding of the mess that’s in my head is finally confirmation that I’m crazy?!
I guess we’re all a little crazy inside.
I hope you all have an adventurous and successful 2019!
My first (and a triple) Haiku!
My favourite time of year is here, Spring. The weather is better, ever body seems that much happier. It’s a time of new beginnings, which has driven me on to trying something new. So here you have it, my first (triple) Haiku! I hope you like it 😀
Bumble-bees forever buzzing,
Clear skies all around,
The ground is full of colour,
Winter is no more.
A sea of new growth,
Animals spawning their young,
Life’s circle complete.
Here’s a Spring-y picture to finish things off!
Atop of the Ferris Wheel I go,
The rain doesn’t deter the view on show,
Rooftops afar and up close spires,
I wish my eyes could see for miles,
Alas, times up, the wheel starts turning,
Goodbye Amsterdam, I’ll soon be returning.
Here are a couple of shots from last years trip to Amsterdam (More will be coming to the Gallery soon). Outside the Palace of Amsterdam was a small fair which had a selection of rides and stalls, including a Ferris Wheel, which was ideal for a few pictures. Most of the group that went aren’t overly … well let’s just say ‘crap with heights!’ So it wasn’t until towards the end of the holiday that we decided to conquer this mighty monster. Unfortunately this was one of the days the weather wasn’t on our side.
Apologies for my poor Poetry too!!
Just a little shout out to all my Single friends and bloggers. I hope you have an amazing day on yet another hyped up, commercialised day of worship to another mystical glorious Saint! I dislike this day for two reasons:
1: It’s ridiculously commercialised, everywhere’s busy and everything costs twice as much.
2: My ex’es birthday was on Feb 11th so this time of year was a double whammy in monetary terms LOL
Just because you’re ‘alone’ today doesn’t make you any less of a person. You keep being the best YOU that you can be and I’m sure someone will come along one day and show you how much they love and worship you every day, not just on Valentine’s Day!
I don’t look at people celebrating today with their partners with distaste, just don’t forget to not neglect your significant others for the other 364 days in the year (for a start it’s cheaper on any other day 😉 )
Solitude – the state or situation of being alone.
– lonely or uninhabited place.
The definitions you’d find on the Internet. For me I couldn’t disagree more. I spend most of my time in the company of others; I work in an office through the week and at night and weekends I am socialising with friends and family almost all of the time.
I may be alone when in solitude but I certainly do not find it lonely or subdued, in fact quite the opposite. When I’m alone it’s a great time for my mind to wander and start reflecting, reminiscing and analysing current, future and past events or situations. It’s almost the only time that I can find peace and tranquillity within myself.
Of course to spend an eternity in solitude would be quite dismal and depressing but in the circumstances of my life I do find it helps to assuage any grief or tension.
The story of how I met my true love – Coffee
Before I started college or working or anything that required more brainpower than the norm, I was a tea drinker. I never liked the smell of coffee and I definitely didn’t like the taste. Anything coffee related I would turn my nose at, even chocolate which I unquestionably have a love affair with! I now drink coffee every day and probably sink about 3 or 4 cups before 10am. I saw a great ‘meme’ the other day which pretty much summed up my feelings for coffee now and it did make me laugh (I’ll try and find it and put it in this blog) So where did it start? How did I become this caffeine infused monster?
Well I can actually pinpoint the exact place and time that I realised coffee wasn’t just a drink and more of a tool or an aide, just like smoking and alcohol, which you can use to manipulate and stimulate the body and mind. A tool which, after time, becomes an acquired taste. I was 17 and we were on a family weekend away at Alton Towers. It was a ridiculous time in the morning and we’d stopped in a services to wait for the others who were in another car and quite a bit behind. I couldn’t sleep and was in need of something to keep me going. After a bad experience with energy drinks when I was younger I opted for a Caramel Macchiato from Starbucks and certainly wasn’t disappointed, the caramel took away the bitterness that I hated in coffee and I felt so much better in terms of alive-ness. Even after this realisation I didn’t become a consistent and abusive coffee drinker until a couple of years ago when I started working in an office. It wasn’t until then that I realised how valuable and how big a part of my daily routine coffee would become! Be right back coffee break …
The change of work from laborious hands-on, to becoming a pen pusher/key tapper sat in a chair had a big effect on the way my body and mind used and needed energy. I started frequently going to the gym to replace the activity side of things, but it was the mental aspect that was the hardest to come to terms with. The constant use of brainpower from the minute I step through the door just isn’t what I’m used to, nor wanted to get used to apparently (I much preferred the extra hour sleep I’d get in the van on the way to site XD). That’s where my dear old friend coffee and I became an inseparable pair. I take my coffee in all forms, espresso-latte I’m not fussy. Until it comes down to freeze-dried or powder then I’m a bit of a snob and refuse to drink any cheap brands.
Weekends are my only real downtime from knocking back cups of coffee like I’m on a night out playing catch up with the guys. I like to kick back, relax and chill. Although I do have a couple it’s nice to let my brain recuperate from the caffeine smashing through the week.
I honestly don’t know how I’d cope without coffee in my life anymore. I probably rely on coffee now more than I do my family and friends and I’ve probably got some serious addiction that I should get checked out but I don’t care! You’ll never split us up! It’s me and coffee for life baby! Okay maybe that is enough coffee for one day…
I’m a little disappointed I couldn’t find the ‘meme’ I was looking for, something to do with one coffee being mandatory, two coffee’s being obligatory and so on, but hey-ho! Until next time 🙂
Time to get into that January routine!
So who else is ready for the Winter?
It’s that time of year again! It’s dark when you leave for work in the mornings and dark when you come home. You can’t hit the snooze button five times because you have to spend your morning defrosting the car, but you can always find a car parking space because nobody leaves the house 🙂
I find once the Christmas festivities are over and we’re all back to work from the Christmas break that this is when I start my routine again. That familiar routine of going to work, returning home from work, (usually there’d be a ‘go the gym’ part here but due injury I’m becoming a right little fatty lol) meeting up with the guys, spending the rest of the night cosying up in the warm binging on Seasons of Game of Thrones, Homelands or whatever takes my fancy and not leaving the house otherwise (I’ve got so many different programmes to watch this year I actually can’t wait!). I hear on the radio that most people refer to January as one of the worst months of the year, but I do quite like it, after-all it’s one of the only times you can acceptably become a hermit and turn off from the world.
This is also usually one of the best times for me to save money! I go out on a Thursday night for our Pool League and in monetary terms that’s my only luxury of expenses. I feel this year is the year for savings for me, cross your fingers for me guys and this time next year I’ll be writing a ‘Moving in to my new house’ blog (laughing out loud to myself at that sentence, ironic, but being a near-genius with numbers I’m so bad at saving money!)
I do have a thought though, maybe this year I should learn something, that will be constructive for the future, with all of this extra free time I have?? I haven’t a clue what but something that I could learn from the confines of my house, if you’ve got any ideas drop it in a comment. Also if you’ve got any good Series you recommend please do! (Currently watching Scorpion, Homelands, Pretty Little Liars < don’t judge the brothers missus watches it all the time and however repetitive it is I’m hooked haha!)
After what’s been one of the warmest December’s I’ve known the weathers really changed coming into the New Year and Jesus-Christ it is cold! I really do hope we’ll get some snow this year, I got some really cool camera lenses for my phone which I’m itching to try out, but I’m not holding my hopes up!! Which reminds me, I’m going to be getting a lot more involved with these weekly photo challenges this year, so if you like those watch this space 🙂
“Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can’t lose.” – Bill gates
“Whatever you do in life, surround yourself with smart people who will argue with you.” – John wooden
We, as a group, find that surrounding yourself with individuals that think to a higher intellect, most discussions will get picked apart and debated, whether you’re correct or not. I find this greatly improves and aides in decision making, as you’re naturally used to picking apart and analysing things in many different styles and at the very least you gain an insight to how other peoples minds work in life; even when the answer is put in front of someone and explained, they may still have a completely different outlook to you.
Being smart is taken for granted a lot more than we account for. Being smart isn’t always being clever, and you mustn’t take for granted the fact that because you’re right; you always will be. Sometimes we forget that the journey we’re on can change at any second. You never know when the tables are going to turn and the shoe will be on the other foot. Just because we’ve been successful before, doesn’t mean we always will be. Once we’ve achieved something and we start progressing in a direction we often think that because we’ve put the hard work and dedication to get to this point you no longer need that commitment to your cause. As you all know this process of thought seldom works and we find ourselves becoming complacent and inconsistent. Of course, it’s difficult to maintain a motivated approach to cause 24/7, I often find myself procrastinating and deviating from the task at hand, after all there is now so many distractions in life to deter you. I think that’s one of the biggest problems in life, we all get so caught up in the general day-to-day activities of the norm we forget about the bigger picture.
Remain humble, remain grounded.
So I recently unearthed a little gem called Poor Richard’s Almanac, by Benjamin Franklin, a collection of periodicals were issued from 1732 to 1757. They contain humour, information, and proverbial wisdom. Some of the quotes seem really ahead of their time, definitely a high recommendation!
“If you would not be forgotten
As soon as you are dead and rotten,
Either write things worth reading,
Or do things worth the writing.”
– Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard’s Almanack 1738
As the years pass me by and I grow ever wiser, these words seem to be truer than ever, which is sad to admit.
“Don’t believe everything you hear: Real eyes, realise, real lies!” – Tupac Shakur
– The Bloggerman